Going-away Present

“‘To our dear friends Margot and Ernst Rosenthal, Our sincerest wish of happiness to you in this farewell hour.’ Bruno Heidenheim, Eva Heidenheim, Annamaria Heidenheim. Chemnitz, 10 December 1936,” reads the flyleaf of the farewell album; Jewish Museum Berlin, inv. no. 2017/285/0, donated by Karin and Steve Rosenthal, photo: Roman März

“Little Book of Etiquette for Big People, This book is the production of Bruno Heidenheim, Chemnitz, 10 December 1936.” The home-made album’s jocular title is the prelude to the humorous collages that follow; Jewish Museum Berlin, inv. no. 2017/285/0, donated by Karin and Steve Rosenthal, photo: Roman März

“America, you land of dreams, of hope for a new life! If your expanses are so vast, then give us just a slice! By the sweat of our brows, we’ll make our living there, because with you, anyone who works hard is bound to get somewhere. I want to give my best to my new homeland, and anyone who can’t make it there can learn from me the art of doing their share. This is how I’ll show my gratitude, my efforts shall ever be renewed!! Peaceful sleep and unfrayed nerves”; Jewish Museum Berlin, inv. no. 2017/285/0, donated by Karin and Steve Rosenthal, photo: Roman März

“Thus dreamt Ernst, that blameless sheep, in moonlight drifting fast asleep. And at his side his gentle wife dreamt a dream of their future life. Herr Morpheus had spread his sand and gazed down pleased at the work of his hand. At this upright couple deep asleep. He listened to them breathe in peaceful tones until at last Ernst gave a moan. And suddenly he saw a demon frolicking on Ernst’s abdomen like a little Mickey Mouse. That’s what made Ernst start to grouse. The demon wouldn’t be deterred from its wild capers, though Lord Morpheus rained down sand, hand over hand. In dismay Morpheus had to wonder: ‘What brought about this rebel slumber?’ He wondered what could have caused this state: ‘Maybe it was something he ate?’ After all, at ‘Meck-Eck’ at his farewell bash, Ernst had tossed mayonnaise eggs down the hatch! ‘Oh you bonehead, now a demon is tormenting you in your own bed’.”; Jewish Museum Berlin, inv. no. 2017/285/0, donated by Karin and Steve Rosenthal, photo: Roman März

“Old Morpheus—like a paramour—stalked his ‘sweetie’s’ side of the floor. First he reveled with a huntsman’s contemplation, then lusted with a hunter’s delectation. Then he bent down (children, what a beard!) toward the lady, sweet and dear, and daubed her eyes; wow!! His sweetie jumped up in surprise. Fully awake, she looks around. There’s her husband, snoring sound. She shakes him: ‘What’s the matter dear?’ With a leap through the window, the demon disappeared, (she hadn’t seen the incubus). Ernst bellowed: ‘Help me America!!!’”;Jewish Museum Berlin, inv. no. 2017/285/0, donated by Karin and Steve Rosenthal, photo: Roman März

“Ach, sweetie-bear, was that just you? Yes? Say, in Chicago is it true that in the subway the gent cedes his place, when some pixie shows her face? In my dream I made a terrible gaffe: she called me riffraff because I didn’t get up on her behalf. Ernst took a little book from the table by his bed, whose title the lady read: Ernst’s Etiquette Guide for America. Vocabulary: Subway = Untergrundbahn. Motto: ‘Never Mind!’”; Jewish Museum Berlin, Inv.-No. 2017/285/0, donated by Karin and Steve Rosenthal, photo: Roman März

“Chapter 1: ‘What does the gent need to know about greetings?’ Should you meet a lady walking down the street, don’t arouse her distaste by staring her boldly in the face!—they don’t like that in the ‘States’! Approach with modesty, nod your head, and then say: ‘Please!’ Tip your hat and nod your head; it’s the only way for the properly bred! She’ll often walk past unshaken (‘Usually she’s taken’). If she hasn’t walked on after your greeting, keep your hat in your left hand for safe keeping! Point two: Meanwhile make sure your glove has been removed! And don’t extend your paw before approved, no, she prefers you wait til she gives you hers! Otherwise you’ll lose her favor! But if it’s a gloved hand you gave her, then these few words will be your savior: ‘Excuse my glove!,’ ‘How do you do?’ You can add as a gentleman too. ‘Nice day to-day,’ she’ll then say. Point three in your correct demeanor is to ‘keep smiling,’ try not to forget that either! But forget any flirtation if her husband is on location; otherwise have no hesitation?!”; Jewish Museum Berlin, inv. no. 2017/285/0, donated by Karin and Steve Rosenthal, photo: Roman März

“Chapter 2: ‘The Kiss’ When you give a miss a kiss, then engagement is requisite! Otherwise in greatest calmness she’ll charge you with ‘breach of promise.’ Then, ‘greenhorn,’ you can cough up the cash, because dollars go down in a flash! Better tame your sinful lust! Even if it is subconscious!! ‘Settlement: $10,000.00. How can that be?’ Chapter 3: ‘Where does the gent go?’ ‘Right or left? That’s the question.’ The rules of the Old World direct that the gent should stand to the lady’s left. If there are two, he should walk between them here at home, but as Americans say, ‘When in Rome…”: The New World demands that you protect her and from the spray of car tires provide a shelter; if you want to shield her attire, walk on the side nearest the drivers!!”; Jewish Museum Berlin, Inv. No. 2017/285/0, donated by Karin and Steve Rosenthal, photo: Roman März

“Chapter 4: Blunders in ‘conversation’ Never call out ‘Heya, chicken!” She’ll hear it as a proposition. The word for ‘Strand’ comes with a hitch: never ask how things were on the ‘bitch.’ ‘Beach’ means ‘strand,’ and to further expand: Chicken = Bitch. A female dog is called a ‘bitch.’ Never say ‘I don’t believe it!’ That’s a blunder, I guarantee it! That would be saying ‘You are a liar!’ It’s better to ‘inquire’ ‘Is that so?’ when the liar makes a ‘bluff.’ ‘Keep smiling,’ friend, don’t get in a huff! If you want your guests to quickly dispel, then please don’t tell them to ‘go to hell.’ Also try to learn the lesson not to ‘curse’ in a lady’s presence! In the New World there are two things that impress: a ‘title’ and ‘deep pockets.’ Many ‘bluff’ about it, but keep your cool already! Otherwise they’ll think you’re ‘petty.’ Also, yawning there is an impropriety! When you blow your nose, do it quietly.”; Jewish Museum Berlin, inv. no. 2017/285/0, donated by Karin and Steve Rosenthal, photo: Roman März

“Chapter 5: ‘At the table’ Only when all ladies are seated may your own seating be completed! Should one go to the ‘W.C’ (the Ladies’) you jump up too! And don’t ask where she’s going to! Once she returns, you should prepare, once she sits, to push in her chair; never use the sharp knife for the fish; there’s a dull one for that right next to your dish! Vocabulary: gentleman’s room (Don’t worry, you can go there too!). One knife ‘for meat’ and one knife ‘for fish.’ Then, my friend, you should be well-versed in the phrase that goes: ‘Ladies first!’ Don’t misjudge, or your lady will bear you a grudge. It’s considered improper to tuck your napkin into your collar! Never heap food up on your plate! Your dish shouldn’t look like the Empire State! Never belch! Don’t make chewing sounds! They only belch in ‘Chinatown.’ Now after dinner should your host offer you a little bowl of water, don’t use it to give a toast! It’s known as a ‘finger bowl’! Vocabulary: Chinatown = Chines[isches] Viertel”; Jewish Museum Berlin, inv. no. 2017/285/0, donated by Karin and Steve Rosenthal, photo: Roman März

“Chapter 7: At the ‘barber shop’ The mirror image is your double! Yankee’s don’t like men with ‘stubble’! You’ll always look dapper from bottom to top if you go first thing to the barber shop. To avoid unruly locks, just go each weekend to have them chopped, if your face has furrows and folds, have them towel you hot and cold, and every day go in for an electric massage after your shave. The barber shop can also assure you get a pedicure and manicure. Nail-biting is off-limits, stop now if you’re in the habit! Chapter 8: The “buttonhole” In England and the USA a buttonhole is where you put a small bouquet. But take note, my dear greenhorn, that sunflowers, hyacinths, irises, morning glories, and cactus are typically not used in practice. Avoid flowers that have started to wither. Fresh carnations are a thing to consider. Always one flower and never two instead: a buttonhole isn’t a garden bed!!”; Jewish Museum Berlin, inv. no. 2017/285/0, donated by Karin and Steve Rosenthal, photo: Roman März

“Chapter 9: ‘How to treat ladies and gentleman: When visiting your office.’ Listen to this Chapter carefully, Doc! The real boss—take careful note—is found in his ‘office,’ just like at home: first prop your feet up on your desktop, and your hat can be left on! Should someone come to call on you, a nod can serve as your hello! When you’re talking with a ‘he,’ smoke cigars like a chimney, but never do so with a ‘she’! If the lady is of high station, forget all of the above information! Stand up!! Cigar out of your beak! Make a bow! (your head to your knees)—your hat having been removed prior—and introduce yourself as custom requires. Vocabulary: Boss = Meister, Chef, Bonze. Don’t ask: ‘What can I do you for?’ ‘Mit was hau’ ich sie über's Ohr?’ Remember to ask the correct way: ‘What can I do for you today?’ And by the by, look her in the eye!!”; Jewish Museum Berlin, inv. no. 2017/285/0, donated by Karin and Steve Rosenthal, photo: Roman März

“And remember this rule, when in doubt, if you don’t want to look like a lout. Keep your paws out of your pockets when you have a lady’s attention! Avoid contention! And if she’s eighty if she’s a day, guess that she’s thirty anyway. Whether at home or overseas, vanity is a much-loved ladies activity! When it comes to angling, one thing is meant: ‘Fishing is for compliments.’ Vocabulary: Angel = Engel; Angeln = to angle. Kapitel 10. Do you spray English? Meaning: ‘The art of spitting correctly’ As a man of refined tastes, spitting is a habit you shouldn’t embrace! In polite society, spitting will earn you notoriety! In the smoking lounge of a railway car, only talented spitters make the rounds! They calculate the trajectory then head home immediately. If you spit in your neighbors’ faces, an ‘I’m sorry’ won’t put you back in their good graces! At that point, you’d better ‘knock him out’ before you suffer a route. Don’t mistake your vocabulary: English – a watch = ‘fob off an opportunity’ Bavarian – A Watsch ‘: ‘avoid one if you have the opportunity’”; Jewish Museum Berlin, inv. no. 2017/285/0, donated by Karin and Steve Rosenthal, photo: Roman März

“Chapter 11: ‘Chewing gum’ and ‘How to use it.’ Instead of chewing tobacco or a smoke, why not give 'chewing gum' a go? For one, it's sure to pass the time, for two, it'll keep you in your prime. At least that's what all the ads say, but if you're with a lady, put your gum away! Stick it under the table while you eat! (That will keep it tasting nice and sweet!) If you stick it to your own tie pin, you'll be scolded like you've never been! In a restaurant or bar, it's considered worse by far to stick gum to your neighbor's chair, then they'll really teach you a lesson there! Chapter 12: In the ‘saloon’ (‘bar’) and all the things a greenhorn can experience there!’ (See also next page.) If you’re standing in a ‘bar’ or a ‘saloon,’ then just do as the locals do: if one of them says ‘Halloh! Take a Wine!’ Then offer him a second ‘drink,’ other wise he’ll think you’re a ‘sucker’ with a ‘Dutch treat.’ Should a gentleman stop to greet you, say ‘Very pleased!’ (that is, to meet you), then offer him a ‘Havana’: ‘Take a smoke?’ is the question you should ask the bloke.”; Jewish Museum Berlin, inv. no. 2017/285/0, donated by Karin and Steve Rosenthal, photo: Roman März

“The sly gambler. Throwing dice in the evening – ‘Greenhorn.’ Anyone dumber than allowed by law will fall into the gamblers’ jaws. If they notice that you’re a ‘greenhorn,’ they’ll be sure to fleece you, be forewarned. You say ‘Hello, compatriots, I’d like to place a bet !” Soon your dollars will be flowing away, and you’ll be filled with growing dismay! ‘Das Würfel-Knobeln’ means ‘playing dice’ and even the greenhorn knows the price, that the also-ran has to pick up the tab. So never gamble!! And if they say: ‘Bull…! Go to Hell, you bloody fool!’ Do all you can to keep your cool! ‘Believe me kid!’ If you’re not in luck, you’ll get a kick! Just remember: Honeyed words are mostly for the birds! The European has the last laugh among the gambling class! Final Chapter. Ernst lays his etiquette manual aside.”; Jewish Museum Berlin, Inv.-No. 2017/285/0, donated of Karin and Steve Rosenthal, Photo: Roman März

“Deeply moved inside, he leapt out of bed, got dressed, and cried: ‘Eureka! I’m ready for America!’ His sweetie-bear, smitten, gazed at her Ernst standing there. An adoring glance; What is it she wants? Who knows? Well, that’s all folks! Prophecy! The distant voice of home – Augury! 1936–1966 A trip to famous Old Doc Rosenthal proved for thousands to be the best cure-all. Since many years ago he’s lived, rich and happy, with his sweetie in Chicago. But for all the years and all that money, he never forgot his friends in ‘Old Germany.’ And so he sent us invitations to come be guests at his location. Farewell, farewell, think of us oft, we'll give you our well-wishing thoughts: ‘Happiness awaits across the sea.’ Believe me, saying goodbye to you isn't easy.”; Jewish Museum Berlin, inv. no. 2017/285/0, donated by Karin and Steve Rosenthal, photo: Roman März

“Lotte: ,Say Alfred-Dear, who is this man on the monument?’
Alfred: ,Well, Darling, do you remember little Ernst of Chemnitz? He went famous all over America.’
Lotte: ,What is the inscription on the monument?'
Alfred: ,The thankful Stars the grand Doc.'
Lotte: ,Ain't he great?!’”

This is Bruno Heidenheim's "premonition" for his friend Ernst Rosenthal; Jewish Museum Berlin, inv. no. 2017/285/0, donated by Karin and Steve Rosenthal, photo: Roman März

Back of the farewell album. But the visit never happened. Bruno Heidenheim died in 1940 as the result of forced hard labour; Jewish Museum Berlin, inv. no. 2017/285/0, donated by Karin and Steve Rosenthal, photo: Roman März.